Love is always number one topic in our lives. Not just only romantic love but also love we feel everyday and also love we felt and received as a child.
Some of us are not used to the topic of love. However as an active hypnotherapist, I am reminded how important the topic of love in our lives.
I say, humans cannot live without love. Without love, we may feel depressed and we may think of death at the end of the road.
Think about what you want or who you want to be. What is your goal or wish?
For example, losing weight. Why would you want to lose weight? Wouldn’t you look good and get a boyfriend?
Or wouldn’t you want to get attention walking down the street? Either ways, wouldn’t you want get attention from the others and want to be loved or admired by the others?
Want to be successful. What would you get through the success? Receive a lot of attention, receive a lot of respects from others, be famous or be wealthy.
Being respected, noticed or famous. Those look like acquiring love. Even money has the same effects. Money would give you some respects or attention from the others?
Money can buy beautiful dresses, shoes and also expensive brand items and those would make you look beautiful, important and impressive.
Nobody goes to a high end restaurant in pajamas or in dirty clothings. Just because it is important how you look because it would determine how people would treat you.
All our desires and efforts are for love, aren’t they? We all want love, don’t we?
Hypothetically, when we fully feel love or receive love, we wouldn’t pursue or need love, wouldn’t we?
When we pursue love, wouldn’t it mean that we don’t fully feel love or receive love, would it?
By the way, it is totally different if you have love, or you feel love.
For example, when someone loves you so much, it is up to you to feel love and believe that you are loved.
In the same theory, some of us don’t feel enough when they have enough.
The theory is about the famous half glass of water. Some of us think that there is only half water in a glass and others think that there is still half water in the glass.
Of course, the amount of the water is the same in the both glasses.
The theory shows that it is not about how much we have but it is about how much we believe we have.
Things are more tricky in this modern society because we can always compare ourselves with others and feel like less than them.
It would be endless desire and efforts because we always have access to a live report of others’ fabulous lives now a days.
In psychology, how much love we received in our childhoods will determine how much love we believe to have now.
It depends on the amount of love in everyday life will determine our happiness. The more love we have or feel, the happier we feel.
The amount of love and how much we feel it everyday will determine our satisfaction and happiness.
In the course of my Master of Social Work degree, there was a topic that no baby can survive without caress and love. It is no certainly just about food but babies need love to survive.
Babies always recognize their mother’s voice and calm them and stop them cry. Babies may know as a fetus, their life depended on the mother 100%.
From my own personal experience, there is no doubt that there is no other occasions than pregnancy that someone relies on me and cannot survive without me.
Probably it is in our DNA in order to survive that we have to be cared and loved as the babies know.
The DNA is still in us today. It is going to be difficult when this DNA is not fulfilled.
Everyday is hard, without confidence, not doing well in human relationships, and etc. We start having problems around it.
However, the love we were given from our parents was a part to practice for us to define ourselves too.
Just because we didn’t feel love from our parents, we will have to pursue love or unfulfilled heart? It’s not always necessary.
We surely tend to decide who we are or what we deserve depending on the amount of love we receive from our parents.
Yes, we tend to determine who we are depending on how we are treated by the others.
Furthermore, how we are treated as a child will determine who we are.
For an extreme example, a child brought up by wolves would think that he/she is a wolf. The child cannot speak and act like an exactly wolf, of course.
DNA wouldn’t determine who we are. The environments would decide who we are.
Of course, the wolf child is an extreme example. However, we can say how much love we can feel or have as a child can define ourselves.
In fact, wouldn’t the wolf child be still a human? Wouldn’t we still deserve love when we weren’t given love in our childhood?
Yes, it is important for each one of us to know who we are no matter what the environments we grew up in.
It is about self image and self esteem in psychology. I can’t deny the fact that the way of upbringing can define ourselves.
I agree that our self image and self esteem in our childhood directly reflect our self image and self esteem at the present tense.
It must be difficult for us to recover humanity when we are raised by wolves and decided ourselves as wolves. It must be difficult for us to recover our true self image when we decided not to deserve love.
That is why conscious therapy may have limitations. Standard psychotherapy is performed in our conscious level so it is hard for it to change our values.
We should ask ourselves if we deserve love. If not, we may need a professional help before it gets too hard.
In the case, hypnotherapy, performed in our subconscious level will be very effective.
Have a wonderful day!