Do you live happily everyday? If you could say yes! to the question, I am very happy for you.
In my experience, vast majority says, “maybe”, “I don’t know.” or simply can’t answer to the question.
Some people ask me what happiness is, or they say ” I think I should be happy because I have my family but I don’t know…”.
What is your answer?
If the answer is yes, congratulations! Then I should ask you why you are happy. What is your answer to this question?
Some may say that I just got married, I got a boyfriend who loves me or I just got a baby. Something like that?
If your answer was no, what is the reason for it? Maybe, you don’t have a boyfriend, you don’t like your job, or you can’t get a right guy?
If your answer was “I don’t know if I am happy.”, you may come from the place that you are supposed to be happy because of what you got though you don’t feel that way.
Nothing significant happens but not feeling happy. Then we are supposed to consider the reason for it.
Did you notice something significant in this conversations?
If you notice, you may be living happily everyday or you have deep thoughts of happiness or other concepts.
What is the strong belief running through in this conversation here? That is a belief that environment or conditions around people make them happy or unhappy.
In our society, this concept is a strong belief. Money, marriage, or children, those conditions and environments can make us happy or not.
I ran into a scene on TV that President Nixon in the 70’s making a speech. “We have twice increase of economy, twice income. That means that we are twice more happy.” He was saying something like that.
Even the president of the US publicly spoke that the more income, the more happiness.
The US and even other countries’ economy is expanded in those years. The US is one of the richest countries in the world.
In the theory, people should be happier now than before. Is it true?
In the theory, people in developing countries should be unhappy or less happy than us. Is it true? I believe that we can’t say for sure that they are not happy because they are not rich.
In my opinion, equally, there are unhappy people in wealth and poor.
In my professional opinion, people have the same kind of reasons why they get depressed or unhappy with regardless their wealth or not.
In fact, most of people have experience of having psychotherapy in their lives growing up in middle class or upper middle class.
Those peole tend to have less confidence in therapy already in general. Their expectation to any type of therapy is already and relatively low, I can say because of their own experience.
Again, I must say that unhappiness doesn’t discriminate against the wealth or poor.
Normally people try to understand the reasons why when they are not happy because everyone wants to be happy in this world regardlessly.
Any problem that we have, we believe that we can solve it when we have the reason why the problem occurs. Then we definitely want a reason or two.
At the same time, we have this strong belief that we can be happy in certain environments with money or nice partner.
As I mentioned, the speech of the President. If money can make us happy, we really should get more money.
Because this is about problem solving. We have to eliminate the reason why we feel unhappy in our standards.
When you are single, you want to get married. Probably after a while, we may feel relieved with the spouse.
However you start to get bothered after the honey moon period and you would no longer feel happy then.
When you try to get rid of your unhappiness with marriage, or with money, the feelings of unhappiness would come up to you anyway after a while.
Is it true?
It is going to be this kind of problem solving, one after another in our lives and one day, we have a last day of our life.
What if you die tomorrow, how would you evaluate your life? Would you be satisfied then?
If you are, you must be living your life happily everyday already. All you can do in everyday life is to do your best, right?
Isn’t it true that we can only do our best everyday? Then we should be satisfied with our life any day of our life.
If you are not satisfied, then we can say that you may not be satisfied with your own best.
You can have good days and bad days. However doing best is all we can do.
If we do our best, nothing else can be done other than that, right? If you truly believe that there was nothing else you could do because it was your own best, there shouldn’t be regret.
Some of us feel like less capable than others. However within our own conditions and ability, we can do only our best.
If you truly could believe that you did your own best and nothing could be done, you shouldn’t be feeling unsatisfied in comparison with others.
Whatever the best you gave, it was everything you got, so there is no more to do. Isn’t it so?
When you can be satisfied with your own best, you know your limits and ability and also accepted yourself with whatever the way, I say.
For example, sudden split with a boy/girlfriend. Some people may regret. They say that they could do better.
I wish I wasn’t too tired in the last conversation with him/her or I shouldn’t have said it or something like that.
However if you believe that you did your own best so there shouldn’t be regret.
You may be sad that you weren’t understood right. However you did your own best so there was nothing else you could do.
Yes, when you accept yourself, there is no regret. It is about self loving, of course. You accept, forgive and care about yourself.
Only self loving is giving you a true happiness.
Living everyday without regret. Everyday goes on and will complete your life, right? Then you wouldn’t have any chance to be unhappy in this.
Happiness is not about what happened to you in your life. Happiness is about feeling satisfied with your own best in our everyday life.
Hypnotherapy can make it happen. Hypnotherapy can remove your own negative image in you.
Have a wonderful day!