Do you have anyone so fond of so you want to be with the person all the time? You may feel like can’t get enough of him/her so think about them when you are apart from them?
You may be in love and I say congratulations! I love being in love and it is one of those joys in our lives. I encourage people to fall in love and I would love to fall in love again and again myself too.
However some of my clients decided not to fall in love again because they had hard break-ups or betrayal and it is very unfortunate.
We all know why we don’t want to fall in love again, right? Falling in love and being in love are such dreamy feelings and joy though….
However, when we have break-up, we wouldn’t want to fall in love again. Why? Because simply, we don’t want to get hurt again in up coming break-up or heart break, right?
Then I must say that in the whole relationship or love experience, we take the hard part more than the sweet and good parts.
In other words, we don’t appreciate the sweet and dreamy parts well enough though we take the hard part well enough so we decided not to fall in love again, well, psychologically saying.
Then I must say that we may lose another wonderful opportunity to fall in love because of the negative way of thinking of ours.
Or in the laws of attraction, another break-up is so likely when you decide that another love will be hard break-up on you, that is why you decided not to fall in love again.
I don’t want you all miss any opportunity to fall in love because it is such wonderful experiences, aren’t they?
Anyway, I am going back to the topic in above, when you can’t stop thinking about some particular person or things.
if you are not in love but you can’t stop thinking of something or someone particularly. What makes you think of the person? First of all, you think of the “person” or “incidences that you had with the person”?
If you think of incidences and conversations with the person but not the person him/herself, probably your obsession is not about the person but the incidences and conversations that you have with him/her.
I used the word of obsession, yes. Obsession means that something or someone you can’t stop thinking about, right? Then when you are in love, it is totally you are obsessed with the person that we can say.
Your brain got stimulated in certain way so you got so interested in something or someone that we can say.
We may have the kind of occasions sometimes in our lives. Interests and curiosities preoccupied us, not only while we are awaken, but also in our sleep, we think of it or him/her or certain things continuously.
By the way, our brain never “sleeps”. We “sleep” though not our brain. Actually brain never rests right? We can get relaxed though brain is of course still working so hard in our relaxation too.
I am not a doctor or a specialist though I can say that brain never rests or stops working and I feel comfortable with my statement.
When brain rests, it could be some occasion of brain death or coma? Without the occasion, brain always works more or less.
Even in our sleep, brain works for us so hard. Actually brain works pretty hard in our sleep and it is sometimes called nightmares or intense dreams.
Those make us tired because the brain works so hard, means that we are using lots of energy on the brain activities. You can’t rest when your brain is so active in your sleep.
In a way, it doesn’t make sense we should be well rested after our sleep. Because in our sleep, our brain sometimes works really hard.
Scientists tell us that being in love is explained that certain hormones created in us than usual. So it is basically brain chemical that makes us feel like being in love.
That makes us think of the person obsessively, day and night. However we never feel tired or want to end in being in love.
How about other obsessions? Something like, we have to repeat some particular scenes or thoughts.
In the case, someone should be involved but mainly with the incidents, conversations or words, particularly same ones all the time.
We could say it just obsession though, there is scientific and psychological explanation on it so I will explain it.
There are incidents, thoughts, conversations or words that we can’t process in our brain. We can’t process means that we don’t feel ok with it, or it is very hard for us to understand and accept, I say.
Those indigents or scenes probably negatively impact our lives and they are called trauma. Trauma doesn’t mean only the incidents that nearly killed us or put us in physical danger or life risking.
Trauma could be very emotional such as you had to stand in front of people and completely had no idea what to do or say, or your toiletry accident early age in your class. Only small incidents can be called trauma so some people say that we have 300 or 500 traumas in our lives.
You may get sweat almost jump into in front of bicycle in a morning and it is a trauma too so trauma is lots more than we think.
Anyways, when we have traumas in us, our brain wants to process it until it feels safe. Safe means that we feel ok.
Until we feel ok with trauma, our brain keeps working on processing it day and night, I say. However we suppress our thoughts because we don’t want to think of it any more in our awaken state, our brain has no choice for it to process it in our sleep.
Our conscious is gone in our sleep so brain probably waited for the moment to process it. Just because, that is brain’s job that processing the traumas.
So called “obsessive thoughts” could be broken down in the scientific analysis. In the way, Obsession might be a harsh way for us to describe it. It is more like brain does its job.
As a professional, I must say that processing trauma is not easy. In your conscious, often times, you thought you overcame it but have the repeated thoughts.
It means that probably the trauma is not processed yet. You may feel ok in your conscious level though it really doesn’t mean ok in subconscious level.
A lot of my clients tell me that they overcame certain issues in their lives. Actually a lot of them went through a lot of therapists in variety of types before me, so it is likely the emotional issues were already addressed in therapy sessions generous times.
I recommend subconscious level of therapy and that is the reason why I perform my therapy in their subconscious state. Because it is more effective and could change your life in the way you couldn’t imagine.
Have a great day!