It’s getting close to Halloween and it feels me of deepened fall and excites me to see all the pumpkin colors and colorful mums in the city.
I am active taking sessions with my clients and getting some thoughts everyday so I am writing here.
I am getting some clients who are determined for weight loss and maintenance after the loss. I have my own experience of 50 pounds of weight loss so naturally I can talk and help a lot about it.
Speaking from my own experience, over-eating was chosen by me to distract myself from my own emotional issues. Because of the problem of over-eating and over-weight, my life itself was unfocused and thickened fog around me to even more unfocused on my life at the time.
In precise, I over-ate because I didn’t feel good to get some temporary relief from my bad mood. However of course, the over-eating gave me only temporary relief and other side effects too.
True issue then was the reasons why I was in bad mood. Was it stress that I got in everyday life? Was it about my marriage? Was it about boredom of my ordinary life?
Neither of them. The reasons why I was in bad mood was inside me. It was about my self image and in precise, it was about my self esteem if I truly loved myself or not.
How do we know if we love ourselves or not? I want you to think of someone who truly you love in this world.
Can you think of how you want them to live or what kind of life do you want them to have?
Would you want them to over-eat, over-work, or being in bad mood? Do you want them to feel the way that you are feeling?
Do you want them to do anything like you are doing to yourself? If not, you may not truly love yourself.
You would take care of someone well when you love the person. You wouldn’t push the person to the edge. You don’t want them to have a hard time first of all.
When you love someone, you would want them to have a best life, and want them to live comfortably everyday.
The way you take care of yourself with love or not would tell you if you truly love yourself or not. Giving yourself a rest and taking care of yourself is self love.
Over-eating for me was self sabotage. I pushed myself to the edge with putting too much food into me in the level that I couldn’t handle digestion on my own. It was an abuse to myself.
Not only I felt dull from over-eating but also my compromised look, blood sugar, blood pressure and all the circulations in my body were at risk because of my self abuse.
I say that our self-image and self values get fixed before we hit teenage. In child psychology, a child starts recognizing themselves as another individual separated from the mother at some point and reflect self image and identity from values of the primary care givers (normally parents).
Thus we have higher chance to have high self esteem when the parents love themselves. When the parents love themselves, it feels usual for the child to feel like loving themselves too.
When the parents are frustrated or dissatisfied with themselves, it would be usual for the child to feel frustrated and dissatisfied with their lives too.
That is why I want to recommend the parents therapy when the child has some issues.
I want to be clear that it doesn’t matter how societally successful or wealthy we are. Success and wealth wouldn’t bring us satisfaction or high self esteem.
Positive self image, self satisfaction and high self esteem would come internally and established already up to 10 years old of our lives.
Self image and values are established in the process of identity establishment in our early age.
Sometimes it seems that an individual gains confidence or high self image at some point of their lives because of external success though it doesn’t mean that the self esteem is based on on the bottom of our identity or how truly we feel about ourselves.
True self esteem would come from inside ourselves without depending on people’s comments or values.
Furthermore we would stay in our true self when we have true high self esteem even when we have high stress or challenges in our lives.
In the occasions, we can think that we will be ok because we are lucky or we feel like we can manage anything because of the great self image. Optimism naturally comes from great self image.
Those are the reasons why some of us can still think positive at life crisis situation and it is called positive thinking after all.
It is true that we establish our own self image in our childhood. If you want to change your self image, fixed values better, it is pretty standard for us to work on our childhood issues or inner child.
It is remarkably easier to work on them in hypnotherapy. Any therapy performed in conscious would take years to solve problems though subconscious therapy (hypnotherapy) would work on you and change your unwanted perception much faster.
However until the day that you have hypnotherapy to change your values for your own good, we should find a way to survive everyday life to stay in good side of self.
How do you manage to stay good side of yourself?
It is true that life happens so it might be challenging for us to stay in our good side when stress and challenges hit us in our everyday life.
Stress is always there for sure.
And also there are life changing events happen to us too. Even without life changing events, we have tension, anxiety and other negativity in our everyday life and they significantly stress us.
As I mentioned, hypnotherapy can change self image even when it is stubbornly negative and it would help us to stay constantly in our good sides.
I am mentioning some suggestions to stay in good sides of us in everyday life without hypnotherapy.
Could you feel lucky enough because you have a roof above you this evening? If not, please fix the mind set.
Please appreciate your family too. Friends and co-workers who support you daily basis. Please be reminded to appreciate them.
Appreciation is not only to feel but also to show. Please show appreciation when you appreciate someone. We want to show and mention anything positive and true without keeping them in ourselves so please mention or the appreciation. Why not?
2. Please feel free to feel love
When you appreciate family and friends, it would be easy to feel love. Please feel free to feel love!
It is not just about romantic love but family members, friends, and others. The more you feel love from others and you love people, the happier you should feel.
You can feel love around people in everyday life when you feel goodness, kindness or smiles of others at any occasions. It is important and feeling love would help a great deal to feel happy too.
3. acknowledge the world is a good place.
Do you think this world is a good place? If not, please change your mind set.
When you acknowledge that you live in a bad place, it would be hard for you to believe that good things will happen to you. Isn’t it true?
Then you should worry about your family members and children because you and your loved ones live in a bad place. You may have anxiety and it’s hard to have hope in the bad environment.
Of course it is hard for us to believe that good things will happen to us or better future when we believe that we live in a bad place.
4. Please believe that people are good.
This is relating to 3 though you can’t sleep well at night when you believe that there are full of bad people in this world.
It’s nothing good if you believe that there are people with malice in this world. Then we would have to worry about our friends and family.
We are not ignorant and there are a few bad people in this world though it would be bad effect when we focus on it and have anxiety and fear.
In the case, please change your mind set.
If you can’t think of goodness in people, the way of thinking coming from the past experience that there are full of bad people in this world or you tend to run into bad people because of your luck.
Either way, you would have less chance to be happy to have the belief. In psychology, you decide to believe that there are a lot of bad people or easily run into bad people because you are afraid of being hurt again and trying to protect yourself from further harm.
You may believe that the more you focus on bad people and being causious, the less chance to get hurt again.This is about defense mechanism though this way of thinking is not positive.
5. Have an imaginary master or best friend to consult
Mystical person or not. God, famous person, deceased family member, wizard or fairy, whoever that is, you feel like close to the person/being and you can trust and count.
Idealy almighty or wise and secure person. You put yourself in the thought for a few minutes, you would have the being in your mind.
When you can’t make a decision or when you can’t practice the step 1 to 4 in this column, you can consult the being in your mind.
It is effective to have the consultant when you are in prayer like state or meditate, or relaxed as you are going to sleep laying down. In the occasion, you have most chance to be using your own subconscious.
Because you are using your own subconscious, you would have best chance to get a good idea.
Of course in subconscious, we are using up to 95% of our brain and our brain operating speed would be 1,000,000 times faster than usual/conscious.
Yes, in normal state/conscious, we are using only around 5% of our brain. That is the reason why subconscious/hypnotherapy would help you tremendously to change your un-serving perception and values.
If you can clear all the steps of 1 to 5, you would have a best chance to feel happy even in the stressful life.
If you can’t clear the 5 steps, you may have major negativity in you that you should eliminate to be happy.
In the occasion, I will be more than happy to help you! I offer in person session in New York City and Skype sessions are available in any regions in this world !
Have a wonderful day!!