Updated: Aug 24, 2020
I have been talking about child up-bringing and self love since yesterday.
When you love yourself as a parent, you can easily love your child. In other words, it is not easy for you to love your child when you don’t love yourself.
The reasons were stated in the yesterday’s column so please read if you are interested.
Now I want to talk about day to day, how we can make our children happy or make them stay happy.
First of all, what kind of child is happy? Probably bright, outgoing, smart and in good mood? Sounds great, doesn’t it?
We can easily imagine how the happy child looks like though in reality, bright, outgoing, smart and in good mood, this child is truly happy or not?
Do you have anyone like the child or even an adult? Beautiful, outgoing, bright, smart and everyone adores him/her.
Then is he or she really happy or not? He/she may look completely happy though we never know.
Actually beautiful, bright and successful people are happy? A lot of them look happy though we sometimes have a chance to know otherwise.
As a matter of fact, I have those kinds of clients looking bright, beautiful, smart, outgoing and successful and talk about their own emotional issues or unhappy feelings.
I may mention it in the last column though it really doesn’t matter how admired the person is by others or how others decide who they are.
In others’ perception, they look beautiful, outgoing, bright and smart, but it doesn’t mean a thing when the person doesn’t believe that way.
Yes, he/she has to believe that they are bright, smart, beautiful and outgoing and oftentimes they don’t.
Whatever the brightness and shines you have on you, it is nothing when you don’t believe them.
And often times, those people only see their flaws that no one else ever notice on them and feel unhappy.
Very unfortunate situation though this kind of stories are around all the time.
And of course, adults or children, it doesn’t matter. Yes, it wouldn’t mean a thing when the child doesn’t believe it when the parents praise him/her.
The child has to pay attention to his/her good points but not to pay attention to flaws in them.
How does the child become a person who only pays attention to good points?
I know the answer. The child has the parent(s) who only pay attention to good points in them but not to pay attention to their flaws.
Of course, this is psychology and it is always parents who give a lot of influences on the children’s life.
Parents can’t cheat on this one so they can’t pretend to be happy or being rich doesn’t make the child or the parents happy anyway.
It is purely if the parents love themselves or not. They don’t look for flaws in them because they love themselves.
You wouldn’t see many flaws when you love someone, right?
It is about loving yourself or not. You wouldn’t love someone because they are rich and the formula applies to yourself.
Of course, money or commercial success can be a reason why you love yourself though in fact, outside factors like this doesn’t play the main character in this theory.
The reason why you love yourself is if you are a good person and deserve love.
In simply saying, you love yourself because you know that you deserve love.
Naturally you deserve love and are a lovely person so you love yourself and loving yourself makes you believe that you deserve love and you are a lovely person too.
It sounds complicated though you believe that you are lovable, deserve love and also lovely about yourself, you surely already love yourself.
When you are the kind of lovely person, people around you will fall in love with you though it would be yourself notices of the lovely person/self and fall in love with him/her even before anyone does.
Of course. You are the closest person of yourself, that’s why.
You are with yourself all the time 24/7, 365 days a year. Actually you can’t avoid yourself at all.
You are the only one person in this world that you can’t absolutely avoid.
Even sticky loving married couples are not always together. They go separately to work or something.
In their sleep, they are not together even though they sleep next to each other.
However you can’t lose yourself even in your sleep.
There is no such a person in this world rather than yourself.
You may never thought of yourself in the way though it is true, isn’t it?
I am going to continue talking about self image and child up-bringing in the tomorrow’s column.
Have a wonderful day!