Stress and the Mirror Principle: How to Let Go of the Need for Control

mitsuny
41 minutes ago
3 min read

The desire to have things go “my way” or to make things exactly as I want them to be is, in fact, always an issue of control.

Even if we think, “I’m not trying to control anything,” when we follow those feelings deeper, we often find a strong belief that “things must be a certain way.”

In this article, let’s explore control through the lenses of psychology and quantum theory—along with the concept of the Mirror Principle.

🪞 The Mirror Principle × Ego × Control Desires

🔹 What is the Mirror Principle?

The Mirror Principle suggests:“Other people and external events are simply reflections of our inner state.”

A person who makes you angry → may reflect suppressed anger within you
A situation that makes you feel powerless → may reflect a belief that “I’m powerless”
A controlling person → may reflect your own hidden desire to control others

🔄 What the Mirror Principle Reveals About Control

Whenever we feel the need to “fix it” or “present ourselves well,”it often means that our own unresolved fears or emotions are being projected onto the outside world.

📌 Examples:

A child doesn’t listen → reflects your anxiety that “I must raise them right”
You’re irritated with your partner → reflects a fear that “maybe I’m not loved”
You care too much about others’ opinions → reflects self-doubt: “I might not be enough”

The ego tries to protect you from these feelings by taking control.In other words, when we feel unfulfilled inside, dissatisfaction appears outside too.

🧠 The Mirror Principle × Rewriting Your Narrative

🌟 Steps:

Recall a triggering event
Ask: “What is this reflecting back to me?”
Identify the underlying belief or emotion
Reinterpret it from your current self’s perspective

🖋 Narrative Rewrite Example:

Event: I felt hurt when a client turned me down
Realization: I had a belief that “I’m someone who gets rejected”
Root cause: My mother never acknowledged me no matter what I did
New narrative:

“Back then, I was doing my very best.

I wasn’t seen or acknowledged, but I was good enough and I know now I gave it my all.

Today, I know I am worthy of being chosen.

Even if someone says no, it doesn’t reduce my value.”

I am always good enough and I don’t need to see reflections from outside.

🌿 What We Ultimately Aim For

Responding not to the outside, but to the message within
Letting go of control and fully feeling our emotions—that’s what begins real change
By rewriting our narrative, we can take back authorship of our life script

🌱 What Truly Matters?

The focus isn’t on “how others see you,” but on whether you’re living in your true power.

But when ego is in control, we tend to: