In the last semester of my Master program, my sister died…. It was suicide….
I knew that she was depressed but my family didn’t understand depression and said that she was just selfish and lazy.
I stopped talking to my family members for years since then.
I knew that the depression was a serious illness and my sister needed proper support though it wasn’t given to her.
I was performing as a therapist in the Master program and taking the course of loss and grief in the semester so I was fully aware that my family was wrong.
But there was nothing I could do. Nothing much rather than having awkward conversation with them on the phone.
I thought I couldn’t graduate though I finally did it on time.
I left Michigan with the bitterness and came back to New York though I never felt like myself again.
I was trying to get pregnant and hormonal treatment didn’t help me feeling stable either.
Luckily, my husband (now my ex-husband) became successful and suggested me to adopt my sister’s children.
My sister was divorced and the father unfortunately was a stranger for the children.
Those children were 8 and 13 then. We finally complete the adoption later when my adopted daughter was 18 and son was 13 and until then, they came to New York time to time to stay with us.
We tried to get them used to New York to give them easier time when finally they permanently moved here.
Adoption was long and hard process and at the end, we couldn’t get US visa for the adopted children because Japan and US’s court systems are different from each other and it became an issue.
Up to then, I was devoted myself into pottery making. I went to studio everyday to use the wheel there.
I hurt my back though I needed to go there do it, rather than that, I didn’t know what to do.
I went to therapy though I didn’t feel any different at all….
We have to find a way to bring adopted children to the US so we decided to move to another country to stay with them. After 2 years, we are supposed to get US visa for them.
Meanwhile, I got pregnant with twins and welcomed them in March 2010. At almost same time, adoption was completed and partially failed on visa situation.
We put everything together and moved to Singapore. It was only country fulfilled our requirements.
All those EU countries don’t accept adopted children to stay with us because they are so careful of human trafficking.
We cared about education, medical cares, and spoken languages too because we wanted to come back to the US with the adopted children.
In Singapore, my husband (now my ex)’s company took care of us well. We lived in Penthouse with two living in maids.
Four children including two adopted children and one year old twins and two maids lived with us.
The situation was difficult in the adoption process and everything and it was truly stressful process for sure of adoption and international relocation though at the end, it looked like I got everything I ever wanted.
I had a successful husband, adopted children, long wanted babies as boy and girl twins, and two living in maids supported me in many ways.
Only thing I wanted was my career though I had no mind to start out my own career in the chaotic situation and also I wasn’t allowed to work in the country yet.
A lot of Americans and other foreigners never wanted to leave Singapore. They looked like enjoyed their fancy life style as expats.
However I wasn’t happy. In precise, no one seemed happy in the household except for the baby twins.
I am going to talk about more of my life in Singapore in tomorrow’s column.
Have a wonderful day!