Usual views stay in you



Hello!

I often think about how to live possibly or simply happiness and I just do it because it is always in me as my own nature.

And everyday, I get input from others and myself to lead me to different approaches, directions and conclusions about his particular topic.

I want to write a little of my awareness and later, I will talk about parenting again.

I have to say that being positive is very different from being denial. In psychology, there is this defense mechanism of “denial”.

For example, someone receives a diagnosis of cancer and go for denial. It is pretty natural for any of us to feel like not to accept the diagnosis.

It is like if I didn’t hear the diagnosis, I wouldn’t have to do anything or thinking about anything such as treatment plans.

That is classic denial. If there was no problem, we wouldn’t have to solve the problem at all.

Yes, there is no need to solve anything when there is no problem. That is why it is one of those defense mechanisms that we use to protect our mind.

As soon as we recognize a problem exists, we will have to deal with it. If we didn’t want to deal with it, we tend to go for denial.

It is one of those things in married couples sometimes to ignore whatever the problem they have because they wouldn’t have to deal with any of the problems they have.

In the case, one day, there could be a rude wake-up call then we will have to deal with them anyway.

It is about COVID-19 too. We may want to believe that we will never get infected and ignore the precaution that we should take like wearing a mask.

Positiveness is absolutely different from recklessness or denial that we have to know.

Being positive is sometimes manipulated for our convenience so we should be careful.

Finally going back to the topic of parenting. Your parents are the people who impact on your life most and make your own ways of thinking or behaviors in psychology.

In psychology, it is a common belief that we tend to become like our own parents.

I am not talking about wealth, success or anything like that. A lot of people are successful even from unsuccessful parents.

I’m talking about who we are such as our nature, moods, behaviors, dynamics or impression that we make to the others.

We sometimes find ourselves looking like our own parents one day and get disappointed.

We know about our parents a lot including good points and flaws. We can’t help noticing especially flaws.

You could be fed up with their flaws as a child though one day, you find yourself showing the exact flaw on your own.

I am sure that you get puzzled because you didn’t like the flaw at all as a child. However this phenomena got psychological and scientific reasons.

Our parents and also primary care givers are the only samples that we ever got regarding how to act as an adult or parent.

For example, you saw your father stayed in his room all day in the weekends and didn’t like it though disappointedly you may find him one day in you in your adulthood.

Or you didn’t like your mother complained about things all the time as a child though you could find yourself looking like her one day.

It’s common and shocking, I say.

We act like the adults or parents that we learned as a child how they act like.

In everyday life in the childhood, again and again, we saw how the adults and parents acted like.

We learned a great deal of samples how they acted as a parent and an adult.

All the scenes that we experienced and observed as a child vividly tell us how to act today.

I will talk about how we change this intergenerational cycles in our generation.

Have a great day!!




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