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How to determine your happiness


In everyday life, I am trying to understand how to live happily and passing on some ideas to people. It is my life mission and job too.

As a matter of fact, I believe that this whole world wants to know how to live happily and pursuing happiness everyday too.

At the end, what we want in this world is only one thing and it is happiness, I believe. Happiness is relating to love and love would raise our vibration high.

Mainly over here, love is relating to self loving and self esteem.

We focus on different things, like proper parenting, going to school, studying, being kind and getting along with other, and etc. If we don’t, our parents get upset.

Why do we focus on those? We are supposed to do those? Then why?

For sure we know that we would get ourselves in trouble if we are not friendly or unkind to people. People wouldn’t like you then in whatever the community you belong to.

Why isn’t it good? Because we don’t like to be disliked? Well, probably, we would have harder time when we can’t get along in our community. That means that we may be apart from our own happiness, doesn’t it?

How about going to school and obtaining educations? Educations would give us proper social status overall and we believe that our higher social status would bring us happiness.

Studying too. In studying, we can get knowledge and we would have less chance to be recognized as an unwise person.

Being respected or considered as an important person, we believe that it would bring us happiness too.

We believe that education, charming personality, or knowledge would help us to be happy. That is why we are trying to get those in our lives.

Then I must tell you that we lost touch with the original purpose in our lives, to live happily in our chaotic society.

It has been looking easier for us to pursue educations, being liked by people, or knowledge instead so those became our interests in this modern society.

We never talk about our happiness though we talk about educations, what school you go to, studying, knowledge or personality. Because we care about those.

I’d understand that visible objects and subjects are easier targets to get. For example, what score in the exams, or how much money you have, because they show in numbers so those are so clear.

However how happy you are, for example, it is not too easy to describe and it is hard for the others to understand it either.

Again, something visible is easy to prove and understandable without so much of explanation though how great you feel in your situation without money or any kind of quantity may be challenging. It is much easier for anyone to show the others money, right?

And also feeling good with some kind of happenings or incidents may feel like happiness to some people. However any occurrences can’t make people happy in true ways. For example, winning lottery makes people happy. Maybe it is not true happiness.

I must say that we are feeling happy when the others approve us to be or recognized by them with some incidents or occurrences. However unfortunately happiness is not defined as an emotional state that we feel no matter what without any incidents or occurrences.

That means that we depend on the others’ perception and values to let them decide whether we are happy or not.

We have to look happy otherwise we feel lost. Or we have to look happy because we don’t want others to believe that we are miserable.

This kind of definition of happiness feels like a main stream, I must say in this society.

However happiness is detected by self and the person can decide if they are happy or not. It doesn’t depend on how much money they got, educations or property that they got.

Furthermore, happiness is only for people who can decide what kind of people they are on their own and fulfilled with themselves.

Yes, you can decide if you are happy or not no matter what others say about you. If you do, there is nothing others can do to you and your happiness.

Again, in this point of view, happy people can decide who they are and should be completely satisfied with themselves.

Of course, this is about self image and self image doesn’t depend on education, money or property either.

No matter how wealthy the person is, the person could be very unhappy.

There is some effects to raise self image when you are wealthy or highly educated. However there is no direct relationships there in between.

Self image is not about what you have or what you don’t have. Self image is about how you feel about what you have and what you don’t have.

And you are the only judge for yourself. Luckily you don’t have to persuade anyone to decide if you are happy. You can only persuade yourself in the matter.

You can firmly decide who you are and don’t let anyone decide otherwise. That is super important here.

In the sense, it is about self esteem so it is important for you to decide that you are wonderful.

Otherwise it would be tricky if you decide that you are not good. It feels like dead on sometimes. Some people firmly decided already that they are not good and that is a truly self esteem issue that people commonly have in my sessions.

In the case, you can be your worst enemy and harshest judge on yourself….

We could use the firm decision on our side and it would be an amazing self esteem if you decide that you are wonderful.

You truly decide who you are and if it is dead on, who would care what the others would say about you? In the case, no matter what, you can keep the high self esteem in your life.

The subject of happiness, if you are happy or not should be decided by only yourself. Only yourself should be only the judge on yourself in your happy life.

Otherwise your life would be harder when people can decide if you are happy or not.

No matter how hard you work, someone can tell you that you are not happy. It sounds ridiculous though I hear the kind of story around us too.

Some people get severely hurt when someone says a harsh word or two. Probably in the case, the person didn’t have firm and positive self image at the first place.

You shouldn’t be feeling too negatively when you are feeling fantastic about yourself. You can tell the liar that they are liars then.

As you know that the sky is blue, you know that you are great, then you shouldn’t be shaky when someone tells you otherwise. However your greatness wasn’t clear like blue sky, you may feel shaky in some criticism.

I am going to introduce how to keep your self image high in the tomorrow’s column. I can’t wait!

Have a wonderful day!!

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