How to keep your vibrations high
I feel like everyday is learning from information I get in my daily life and those make me think of something too. I am writing one of those I thought of, today.
I have four children and two older adult ones were adopted about 10 years ago, who used to be my own deceased sister’s children. Two others are boy and girl twins I got on my own going to now an elementary school.
My younger daughter, a twin in elementary school said that she didn’t like doing chores in this summer because she planned it would be relaxing time for her in this summer.
Furthermore, she doesn’t like that I told her to clip her front hair against her own style.
They are born in this free country and growing up in New York City. Who hold the tong in this city? And they don’t have an attitude to follow instructions of their parents either.
I admire American culture though it is quite different from my native culture of Japanese growing up in the environment of obedience and harmony.
It is hard for any of us to distinguish freedom from consideration, opinions from selfishness, or good parenting from self preference.
In parenting, I try to keep it in my mind to make sure of my own motivation why I have to tell my children what to do or what not to do. It is either my preference or right doing of parenting.
I didn’t mean to insist my own style to my daughter’s front hair although I didn’t like the fact that her front hair is hurting my daughter’s eyes.
About chores, of course my job as a mother, I have to raise my children as a people who can well take care of themselves.
In my childhood, I was doing a lot of chores especially cooking while my brother wasn’t doing any of chores. The fact was, I was a girl and he was a boy.
I tell my children including adopted ones who were born and raised up to teenagers in Japan that we all should be able to take care of ourselves until the day that we can hire a helper.
My adopted son wasn’t doing any chores in Japan though now he can do a lot more because of my parenting style.
As mentioned, as a parent, I don’t act based on my own self preference but working for my children’s best interests and independence.
I really want my children to understand that I often times have to tell them to do what they don’t want to do even though I dearly love them.
Repeatedly speaking, love is to accept good and bad in the person, forgive any mistakes they make and truly care about them.
Accepting good and also bad though it doesn’t mean that we will stop telling them their doings are wrong.
Forgiving takes a lot of patience because we will never give up on them for correcting their behaviors either.
It is probably one of most difficult for us to keep correcting and forgiving on their mistakes.
People don’t change so much though giving up on them wouldn’t give them higher chance to correct themselves at the end either.