I have clients who are in variety of age ranges of 4 to 87 years old. I am glad that finally hypnotherapy is received by wide range of age grouped people and they find the effects, so thank you so much!
Older clients tend to have gone through many therapy performed in their conscious level already in their lives and they wanted to try something new because the traditional therapy didn’t work on them effectively enough.
Some kind of energy work, or something very skeptical sometimes they tried. Their stories stunned me in the past how desperate they became to pursue their happiness.
Then, they came to me, that means whatever the therapy they went to didn’t have so much impact on their emotional well-being at the end. Simple task to be happy is actually so difficult to achieve in our lives.
I am happy to be their last resort and give them effective therapy finally in their lives too. Thank you so much for believing in me!
Surprisingly I have many young clients including teenagers. It depend on the child though he/she has to stay for a while and listen to me in sessions. And I want them to be able to distinguish reality and dreams. Those are check points that I tell my clients’ parents in consultation conversation.
Luckily, no child turned their back and went home without sessions nor I had to turn them down yet.
In psychology, it is always mother, now a days, we call them a primary care giver has a lot to do with the child’s emotional well being.
I know people think that psychology is corny though I have to admit that mothers, primary care givers have a lot to do with the children’s emotional well being, yes.
I recognized its importance in my personal life and also my professional life.
That is why it is important for us as parents to know it and work hard on happiness of our next generations.
I truly believe that parents’ emotional well being and happiness are the key to the children’s happiness and well being as well.
We want to make happy next generations, don’t we? It is so important, isn’t it? No parents not to think of the children’s happiness in this world either.
Not only the parents, but also single people who don’t have children yet might be already interested in this topic too. Some people may not go forward to marriage or romantic relationships when they are anxious to have children at the end or if they wonder if could be a good parent or not in the future.
If some of the readers here think that they don’t want their own children to end up like themselves, probably I recommend them to start the conversation from there, the point.
“I end up with like this but I don’t want them to be like me.”, I heard the kind of phrase sometimes in the past. In Asian countries, it might be common for the parents to sacrifice their lives and prioritize the children’s future and happiness.
Long story in short, this logic might not be effective after all, well, psychological stand of point. I am going to be surprised if the chid becomes truly happy when the parents sacrificed their lives for them.
I am going to explain why here. First of all, the parents have low self esteem like this, it means that they feel like a failure about themselves, it is going to be very difficult for them to raise children with high self esteem.
Parents are after all the origin of the child, we should remember. When you believe that you are not good enough, you wouldn’t create anything wonderful, I have to say.
Furthermore, you wouldn’t be able to truly appreciate something wonderful that you create when you have low self esteem either. It is like chicken and egg.
Some of my clients can’t take compliments. They don’t know what to do when I admire their talents at all. They can’t recognize the goodness in their creations either.
I was one of them long time ago when I was making pottery before I ran into hypnosis. Some people were impressed with my pieces though I never understood why they were at all.
I thought that anyone could make the kind of pieces. And also I always saw flaws in my pieces and I couldn’t take my eye off from the flaws anyway even though no one else noticed them at all.
I was going to traditional psychotherapist then and she told me that I had to love my creation in the sessions.
She was so right. Whatever the creation we have, we have to love them all. However it would be hard for us to love our creation when we don’t love ourselves.
When we love ourselves, it would be so easy to love anything we create, of course, including our children.
Whenever we naturally scold ourselves, we tend to think of our flaws in ourselves and we do the same to our creations. Of course, we may do it to our own children too because they are our creations.
I say, loving ourselves is a key to make happy children. When we love ourselves, we can easily love our children too.
Of course, all parents love their children in some levels. What I mean is we can express our love well enough when we love ourselves first in this contents.
I want to talk about how to make happy children in daily life. This method is based on psychology, my own experiences and also learning experiences from my clients and family members too.
First of all, who are happy children? They are bright, outgoing, smart and smiling? Something like that, right?
Is that true? Are they all happy? Don’t you have those kinds of people or children around you? Bright, beautiful, outgoing, smart and smiling. Are they really happy?
I say, only god knows if they are happy or not. Some of them may come to me and had a session or two with saying that they are not happy.
Simply saying, it doesn’t mean anything if others admire them or not at the end.
How much ever others say that they are bright, beautiful, smart, outgoing and smiling, it doesn’t mean a thing when they, themselves don’t feel that way.
It is not about what others say about you. It is about what you believe about yourself after all. Otherwise you may look for flaws anyone else can see in you and feel unhappy.
It works the same way about your child upbringing so it doesn’t matter how much you praise them in words if they don’t believe what you say. Praising or not is not a point. We have to make children believe that they are wonderful.
Then for sure, those children would love themselves and wouldn’t look for their flaws. And for sure, everyone has flaws so you’d better not to look for them, right?
Parent are samples for the children so we as parents, we pay attention to good points in us and go easy on flaws in us. Just talking about it wouldn’t do a job but showing how you do it in everyday life is the best so please be a living sample.
We all know that intergenerational abuse or behavioral patterns are there in parents and children. We are intelligent animals who learn and mimic from the samples.
It doesn’t matter if you are wealthy or poor, well-pretend to be happy. All those tricks or materialistic elements wouldn’t work…. When we love someone, we can’t see so much flaw in them right? So we can pay attention to only good points in us and when we love ourselves.
It all matters if you love yourself or not. No one would love him/her just because of wealth, success, or even appearance. Those are some elements to support your self esteem though they are not most important.
Because, however all the assets you have, they don’t matter if you see so many of flaws in you and negative wins then.
Most compelling reasons why you can love yourself, that is if you believe that you are a good person and deserve to be loved and love.
Of course, letting the child know that they deserve love in depth will make them believe that they deserve love. When you believe that you deserve to be loved, automatically you are supposed to love yourself too. Then you feel happy.
How do we convince the child that they deserve love? Of course, as a parent, you should be already convinced that you, yourself deserve love. Then everyday, you can show your child how to behave when you deserve love.
We all know that we have good points and bad points. And unfortunately one day, we may find some elements that we didn’t like about our parents living in us.
Of course we picked up our parents’ behaviors and elements as a child and grew up. Parents’ thinking patterns, behaviors, attitudes and so on should be in us living.. because they were our samples.
For example, you might not like your father’s behavior as a child that he was sleeping all day or looked lazy on the weekends. However one day, as an adult, you can find yourself looking like your father with the behaviors.
You never wanted to be like your mother criticizing and complaining about something small though one day, you may be stunned you sound like and look like your own mother.
All those usual scenes in your everyday life in your childhood become standard and patterns in you. You learned the standard as a child looking at the parents’ behaviors everyday so you may present your standards when you have a chance.
See, then it is easy for us to make a great child. Whatever the way you want your child to be, you can present and show the exact way to the child everyday.
You shouldn’t preach the child… You can simply show them how you do it.
As I said, whatever the standard the child saw as a child, it would be their standard. Whatever happening at home everyday, it becomes standard for them.
When they were beaten everyday, beating becomes the standard. They are supposed to look for their own standard in their adulthood so they could get together with someone who beats them. It is simple logic.
If it is the simple, we must do things we want the children to pick up everyday for them. The messages and behaviors should be how much we love ourselves or how wonderful our life is. Then those would be their standard.
To make them believe, we have to be convincing enough happy at the first place.
And we repeatedly showing love and pouring love into them in everyday life. Love would be their standard then. Being loved easily leads them to believe that they deserve love, in a true way.
Give them love everyday. Whenever you got a chance, you can show and tell them how important they are and how much you love them.
If you do so, positive self image would stick to them even if we have to correct their behaviors when they misbehave.
They will have hard time to believe that they are loved if they don’t feel so much love from you. Instead, they feel like they are corrected all the time.
As parents, we correct them so we should show and give as much as love we can because there is time for us as parents to correct them.
How do you express love? You can be creative. Hugging, kissing, paying attention to them, and just giving them a special look.
There are many ways. Try them all then your child would shine even brighter right away.
Have a wonderful day!!