Have you ever thought of ways to improve your life or how, or anything wrong to do with yourself in your daily life?
If you have, this column may be able to help you today.
Challenges never stop coming to you in your life. It is a life contains full of joys but also challenges.
How old you are as a child or not, the situation is the same. As we grow up, we start understanding dilemma, conflicts, or frictions in between people or situations.
Yes, again, that is the life about. If you see people who have no challenge in their lives, probably it is misunderstanding or misconception about the person.
However you have to be aware that they are many people who seem like having no challenge. I get the comments and impressions from others too. Some people say that I seem to have no challenge or no problem in my life although it is quite opposite in the real situation here.
I must say that as many times as I stated, it is up to you if you take the challenges in your life as negative or rather as positive because you can learn a great deal.
Probably, overall, challenges are given to everyone evenly even though it seems like some people have more challenges than others for sure.
I feel like I may have out of standard life like, I was born in a very small town in Japan though ended up with living in New York City with my brand new family that I built and running a business on my own.
Adding to those, it is amazing for me to have published books in Japan and the US.
After sudden death of my sister, my ex-husband and I adopted her children as teenagers and I ended up with being a mother of 4 children including my own twins.
I feel like that my life is out of standard because of those events happened to me in my life.
Of course, I can’t disclose everything about my life though there is tendency that something extra ordinary happens to me in my life for sure.
The out of ordinary life of mine shows in my natal astrology charts or any other charts, I say. In astrology, I got “Grand Cross” in my natal chart that is extra ordinary with a lot of challenges in the life.
In Japanese fortune telling, I found that my chart was out of ordinary so as numerology. I was told that I got master numbers in my natal numbers by people who are into the numerology.
Hey, I didn’t ask for it but astrology, the Japanese fortune telling or numerology are calculated based on my birthday so it is not surprising for them to have the same type of results in my charts.
Birthday is the day we came out to this world so it should be special science and also spirituality wise.
Of course, it is not always just about birthday deciding our lives. My twins show differences in many ways each other even though they share the same birthdays each other.
Anyway, there are lives with many extra ordinary events and I see many of them in my personal life and also professional life in my clients too.
Challenges are in any life and I believe that it is lives are about. However please don’t forget we can’t even describe how joyful the lives are, yes!
In simple ways to say that the creator of this world would have never put us into “only” misery and suffering when it invited us to this world.
The creator must have put us in learning how to live lives with joys and achievements amongst all of the challenges we have in our lives. Focusing on positives amongst negatives, that is the creator wanted us to learn, I believe.
And the logic makes sense much better. Finding joys and holding on them tight in our lives along with the challenges, that is the way to live your life happily.
I totally go along with the creator’s intention and believe in the way to live happily too. So I wrote books about it and also my therapy practice is about living happily too.
My books are published in Japan and the US now and they are available in Amazon. In US Amazon, you can search me with Mitsu Emig and in Japanese of course, you can search me with my name in Japanese characters.
Whichever the book you get and have a chance to come to New York City, please contact me and drop by because I will happy to sign on the book!
Today, I want to tell you the taste of my believes here, how to accomplish the way to live happily that the creator of this world, the Universe and also I recommend here.
Don’t blame anyone else
All the events happen to you in your life were necessity. As I mentioned, the creator, the Universe wouldn’t have put you through whatever the events for waste and only making you suffer. Isn’t it true?
If you feel like any challenge in your life was just waste, you may misunderstand the meanings of the events. Because the Universe should have given you a chance to learn.
That is why if you cry without learning, saying to yourself, “why did this happen to me?” or “I don’t like it.”, you are understood that you didn’t learn anything in the challenge. Then you may receive the same type of challenge again, and again and again….
Of course, it is like a video game so you are not going to the next stage when you are not mastered the current stage.
As I mentioned, everything happened to you was needed for you. Those are your own learning experiences so if you don’t understand the lesson, you may have the same topic again.
When you blame on someone else on the occasions, it means that you are wasting your own precious learning experience opportunity .
Because blaming someone else doesn’t lead you to take your own responsibility. Of course, you are not taking the responsibility when it is not your fault but someone else’s.
For example, some of us to make excuses, such as we can’t be successful because of the uneducated parents of ours, you are from remote area in a country side, or someone ruined your life.
A lot of things happen to us in our lives and sometimes things seem like beyond our capacity to handle.
The harder for us to handle the situation, the more we want to blame on someone else. Of course, then we don’t have to fix the situation but the person will have to fix.
When we blame on someone else, we wouldn’t have an initiative to fix the problem. We’d rather count on the trouble-maker to fix the problem right?
Some of us keep blaming someone else in our lives to the end of the lives. For example, the divorce ruined their life, became poor because of it, happiness was taken away from them and etc.
The blame could be accelerated when the counter-part wanted the divorce, or someone else deceived you or etc. Then we got great reasons why we don’t have to fix the problem, which leads us to be a better person because we took the learning experience well.
Blaming someone else cause not only missing the opportunity of learning, but also, hatred could be created when you blame on someone else.
Hating someone is definitely negative feelings. It would affect your life negatively when you blame someone and hate the person in your life.
If you take a moment to check yourself if you have the negative feelings along hatred in you. What do you say?
Sometimes, long standing hatred becomes to feel usual for you and some of the people depend on the feelings to go on. When the situation lifts the person being hated, they wouldn’t know what to do.
It is like a TV show that hating someone and depending on the feelings of hurting the person one day. It seems like a common drama show around us and it is our favorite to see the revenge.
However I must say that hatred and revenge are negative energy in you when you keep them. Carrying negative feelings including hatred will hurt you and also people who you love or who love you at the end.
If you want to avoid someone else gets hurt in the same way as you did, it is positive though living with a dream of the revenge and counting on the relief with the revenge one day is not healthy either.
I hope that you relief yourself from this negative energies as soon as possible if you have it.
2. Don’t regret
I have to tell you that regrets are one of those wasteful feelings. Regrets are we wish something already happened in the past never happened and wishing we never done something we have done.
However the wish is never coming true in the future because simply it already happened and we or anyone can change the past events.
If we regret or not, what it’s done is what it’s done. It is impossible for anyone to change the facts.
I am aware how easy for us to say it but doing it is rather more difficult. For example, some of my clients who were raped in the past.
It is natural and healthy for anyone to wish that it never happened. Those kinds of events are in this world like this for sure.
However I have to say, still, wishing to erase the past events never happens within our ability. Simply we can’t change the past.
Unfortunately ever but we can’t change the past….
However we can change the meanings of our past events or even entire our past in the extend.
I mentioned some example that different captions on the same pictures or moving pictures. If they are the same pictures or moving pictures, they would completely look different when they have different narratives with them.
It may be up to the narratives if someone was completely defeated or learned a great deal and start walking down on the new and positive path.
Furthermore, it is up to us who had those events to decide what those events meant and were, such as shame or not.
It is up to us means that it is up to our perceptions and values at the point that we decide what the past event is, including if it is a shame or not.
However oftentimes, outside voices matter too in this occasions.
It seems like one of those tests to our own belief and how strongly we can believe in our own values. We may feel shaky when the outside voice is too loud.
For example, we may believe that a past embarrassing event ruined our lives. We may have one of those events in our childhood, such as urinating in the pants in front of the class,
It is up to the person who had the event to decide if this event ended his/her life or not. The person can definitely decide that the life went on even when whole class made fun of him/her.
It is definitely up to the person who decides the past event means to him/her either the end of the world or life goes on.
You may think it is exaggeration though a lot of us feel like literary “the end of the world” at the kind of occasions from the embarrassment. You can find how bad you felt in “inner child” work, often times.
“Don’t cry over spilt milk.”, of course because it is nothing we can do to it.
In extend, I can say that it is done for us to be here today. All the things happened to us actually put us here today at this moment, right?
First of all, we are given the body and were born as who we are. If we wish we weren’t here, nothing we can do.
I was given a life as Mitsu Emig and my life wouldn’t be ended any time soon in the reality.
Can I drop out of being Mitsu Emig? The answer is no. Most of the reality we have work in the same way, don’t you think?
Marriage, work, or even life. There is no drop out any time soon, right?
This is not about a boring party that you can go home when you feel dead bored there.
When there is no drop out or quit, there are two choices there. Enjoy it or not. When you are smart like you, you would definitely choose “enjoy”.
There is no other choice rather than being there in the way, so it would be misery when you decide not to enjoy.
There is no in-between. Enjoy or not. There is no choice not to enjoy and complain about it all day, you see, you can figure it out.
There are many learning experiences in the past, like I shouldn’t have done it or I should have done it. Those should be reflected to the next attempt.
It is positive for you to try in the different way at the next attempt. However there is no benefit for anyone to keep the regrets in him/her.
Those are two principles that I can recommend today to live happily. Please have a try. You may not be able to make two of the agendas here then you may have some negativity in you already.
We can reduce negativity in hypnotherapy. When you want to live happily, we wouldn’t need much of negative energy in you.
I am looking forward to meeting you!
Have a wonderful day!